All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize