I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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