I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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