Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize