pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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