Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
