Small penises have feelings too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
