I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
