i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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