I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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