I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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