Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
