every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize