Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
