It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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