Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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