you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
