dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
