i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
