I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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