1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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