He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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