I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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