Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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