Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
