We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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