My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
