I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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