I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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