A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
