I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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