its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
