Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening