Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples