honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
