We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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