I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.