I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
