You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
