hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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