I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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