so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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