Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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