i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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