It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
