We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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