i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
