She said her name was "party"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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