Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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