So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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