About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
