im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
