he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize