Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
