She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
