i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
