fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
