if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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